Truth or Dare

Everyone knows the game Truth or Dare.

It's a game I hope to play with you.

As the game starts,

I spin the bottle in the middle of the crowd,

My heart is racing as I wish the bottle points to you.

The bottle spins and spins,

It might be God doing this,

'Cause the bottle is pointing to your direction.

And that was lucky,

Because I had already planned out the whole thing.

When I ask you truth or dare,

if you choose truth,

I would then ask you:" Do you like me?"

If you choose dare,

I would then tell you:" Stand up and choose the girl you like."

It's a game where I have the all the answers to my questions.

But it might be the questions to all my answers.

What if the answer I hope you would give me is not the one I want.

What if you stand up and not choose me.

It was a very risky game as it can break my own heart.

It was also a game where I can reveal the truth.

The lesson I learnt that broke my heart

Behind my stuffed toys which are on my bed lies a book. That book was given from my grandma which passed away a few years ago. In that book are the feelings and the thoughts of mine since I was nine. That book contains stuff that no one knows about not even my best friend. The words I write in that book could ruin my life if anyone knows about it. That book is also known as my diary.

When I was nine, I received my first diary. It didn't wait long for me to begin my first page. My first page was about the first boy I was crushing on. It was the first time I had these kind of feelings for a boy. I told my grandma and she told that it's the feeling of liking an opposite gender. I was still confused. So I told my best friend about it. She said I had a crush on the boy. I still didn't get it. So one day, I told the boy I had a crush on him. He immediately freaked out and never talk to me again. Later on, I realized crushing on someone is bad. And telling the boy about it is even worse.

When I was thirteen, I started crushing on a boy. As any girl would do, I told my best friend about it. The next day, she told everyone else. I was pissed at her, but it was also my fault to tell. So from that day onwards, I never tell anyone about my secrets except my dog. Which is stupid but a girl has to talk to someone about her secrets.

When I was sixteen, I started working in a yogurt shop. I was always seeing cute guys, but they were always the reserved ones. One day, a guy with dark brown hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin came into the shop. He ordered a blueberry yogurt. I gave it to him and he introduced himself. I was flattered and gave him my phone number. The next few days, we became closer and closer and finally we became an item.

   Few months later, I came home and found him sitting on my bed, reading a book. I was of course happy to see him but I then noticed the book he was reading. The cover of my book was light pink in colour and had polka dots on it. And the title of the book was My Diary. I was horrified of how on earth he could find my diary. I tried to snatch it but he was holding very tightly to it. I shouted at him and he just stayed quiet. For a few seconds I was hoping that everything was going to be okay. After a silent moment, he stood up and started walking toward the door. He was still taking the diary with him. I ran after him. But he pushed me away. I started asking what was happening. But he just walked away. I tried to stop him but I just couldn't. I couldn't sleep the whole night.

   The next day, everyone was staring at me like I was a freak. I tried to ignore all the looks in their eyes. Then I reached a corner where a lot of people were gathered at. They were looking at something that was pinned up on the buletin board . My mind was going all kinds of different directions. I pushed my way towards the crowd. And there it was. My diary was being pinned on the buletin board and worst of all my name was written hugely on the front page. Everyone was staring at me and whispering loudly. I was humiliated so badly. I started making my way towards the girls washroom. I was holding up myself trying not to cry. 

   On the way, I bumped into the most popular girl in the school. She saw me and started laughing hysterically. I moved out her way and rushed into the washroom. I sat on the toilet and cried like a baby. I've never cried so hard before. Then, I heard some girls walking into the washroom. They were talking about me(that was no surprise). They said that the boy I was dating was on some bet with his friends and the bet was to steal something precious of mine. And that's when my diary came in as the most precious thing. I was even more sad when I heard that. I was also angry at myself for being so stupid to fall for a guy that takes me as a bet.

Two weeks later, I transfered to another school which was in another state. I left that school with not only my face down but with a broken heart.. Everytime when I fall for a guy, I always learn a lesson. And this time, I learnt that falling for someone might cost you something.

The letter that was never send to you

There was a letter that was written in a piece of sheer white paper with blue ribbon on the side of it. The words were written personally by me with a black bold point pen given by you. The envelope protecting the letter was yellow in color and on it was the address of the guy I have fallen for --------you.

   I wanted to send the letter to you but I didn't have the courage of committing the truth to you. It would ruin the friendship we have. The times we spend together. But the only none perfect thing is that I want to be more than friends.

   After a few days, I managed to have the slightest bravery to give you the letter myself as I did not want any confusion of it what so ever. So I hope onto my bike and cycled to your house which was close but I wished it to be even more closer to me. As I cycled in the autumn leaves, I feel the breeze in my face. I was enjoying every moment of it. I was just miles away from moving out of the friend zone with you.

   I reached your house and knocked on yor door. No one answered it. I knocked again and again. There was still no answer at the door. I was disappointed. I had the whole thing planned out in head. But it didn't come true. I waited at the door for several hours. I wanted to call you but god knows why I didn't bring my phone with you.

   After several long and miserable hours, I was still waiting alone on your doorstep. Then I finally saw the flashlights of your parents car. My heart was starting to jump with joy. Your parents came out of the car. I waved happily at them. But they didn't wave back. Then I noticed their expressions were downright gloomy. And just of the frown they were wearing, my heart immediately sank down.

   I could sense something was wrong. I ran up to them. Your mum saw me and started crying. I hugged her and patted her back. Your dad said you were in the hospital. Then I started cryiung as I know it was something bad. For a sudden thought, my mind was full of memories we had together. Your dad said I could visit you tomorrow morning as it was already late. But I couldn't wait any longer as the urge to see you was strong.

  I cycled to the hospital. It was kilometers away but I couldn't bear to not see you today. As the autumn wind on my face, the feeling was much more different a couple of hours ago. Now I'm feeling scared of loosing you and disappointed at myself for not confronting my feelings earlier. If I did then everything will be different.

   I reached the hospital and ran to the receptionist. I was looking everywhere for your room. Then with a hint of luck, I found your room. My heart was basically like a ball bouncing up and down. I stopped by the door and was utterly stunned. There was a girl with long blond hair and a fine complexion sleeping by your side. She had long legs and her cheeks were rosy. I guessed she cried for you too.

   My mind was thinking of all sorts of possibilities that the girl beside you isn't who she is. But my heart says it all and soon I realized I didn't belong in this picture. I walked away slowly and heavily because my heart now weighs a thousand pounds. I reached my bike and I took the letter out of the basket in front of my bike.

   The image of me and you were so real but now so far. A drop of water splashed onto the envelope. I quickly wiped the tear off as I didn't want it to be a stain. I suddenly realized how foolish I am to even care about the stupid letter. I tear the letter into pieces and threw it into the autumn sky. The sky was filled with sparkling stars. Too bad I couldn't share it with you.

   I cycled home as fast as I could. The tears were still pouring out like heavy drops of rain. I cycled and cycled as I felt more and more furious at myself for being so silly, at you for being the guy I fallen for, at that girl who you chose. I was full of anger.

   As I was crying, I didn't notice I was cycling way too out in the street. And just like that, I was send away from earth for ever.

   Before I passed out, the last image was the memory of you and me sitting at the edge of the bridge on top of the river. You were throwing stones into the river while I was watching you. You saw me watching you and quickly covered my eyes.
  
   I said:" I couldn't see a single thing. The world is officially shut down because of you."
   You said:" If you could still hear my voice then you're in luck."
   "And why's that?"
   "'Cause you have me to guide you through the rough times and the lonely times."
   "But what if you're gone?"
   "Then I'll become an angel and still be beside of you."
   "But what if I'm gone?"
   "Then vice-versa!"
   "Great! Now I have another assignment to do."
   "My pleasure."

   Then, everything went black.

My first post as Joyerse Katherine

Dear readers,

My name is not Joyerse Katherine.
But I'm not going to tell you my real name.
It's my first time writing as Joyerse Katherine and not the real me.

If you ask me why would I choose the name Joyerse Katherine and what's so special about that name. 
My answer is there's no 'why' in choosing a name that I like. Actually I'm not even sure there's a name Joyerse Katherine. If there is no Joyerse.K in this world then it is my pleasure that I'm the first one to use it. And the answer to the second question is that everyone's name IS special. Not one in this universe is not special. 


I may continue this blog of mine with words that I thought of my own. 

Hope it's not that boring. 


Joyerse.K